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If I had thought that coming back home was the beginning of the end of my ordeal I was in for quiet a few surprises.

To begin with sleeping on the bed was a real pain. Since I was used to the luxury of an adjustable bed I found it difficult to lay on the routine bed, added to this was my two catheter bags which was making my turning in bed next to impossible.

Also I was finding it difficult to sleep at night and used to be awake throughout the night watching others sleep comfortably. Also my legs were aching like mad and I used to press my legs everyday night for comfort. My children were missing me and I came to know that my son was not being attentive in class and used to visit the restroom quiet often. All this were making me go mad and I was wondering what wrong I did other than helping the poor and needy for me to suffer like this.

Everyday my FIL used to make me dring tender coconut and force me to walk at least within the house for a few miutes. Bath was another fun altogether. I needed two people during my bath. I had to be careful that I do not wet my chest as my chemoport was inserted and I cannot wash my abdomen as my wound was still raw alongwith my colostomy, I caanot wash my private area since the catheters were protruding out and I need to make sure that I do not get afflicted with UTI!!!

This literally means I just need to wash my hands, legs and my back. During my bath time, my catheters would be held by my FIL and my wife would carefully do almost a sponge bath. It was very irritating that I could not even take bath.

My colostomy was also giving problems and the bag would last hardly 4 days at the most, changing the bag was a trauma and most of the times I would cry with pain. Finally Sister Selvi advised me to shave my abdomen which I did and the pain was reduced by 10%. I know this is a small number but to me this was huge!

I was slowly starting to mobilise myself and would wince with pain since the catheter used to irritate my bladder. Also a week after discharge I had a shock, I found that I was once again getting faeces in my urinary catheter. Me and my wife cried for some time at this, since it means that the fistula is active and that I will have problems like before once the catheter is out. I called up the surgeons and the Uroloist and in a typical physician way I was informed that I have to live with it since I cannot be taken up for surgery since Chemo would be starting soon!!!

Trauma continues…

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