Today was supposed to be my second round of chemo post RT.
I had requested Erbitux to be stopped as it was causing lots of rash and acne which were becoming extremely painful and cosmetically extremely disfiguring.
I went in for admission as ususal and things were fine with the premedications, Avil was withheld since Oxaliplatin causes less of severe reactions and was considered very safe.
Oxaliplatin was started and was supposed to be infused over 2 hours. Within 10 minutes of the infusion I developed Anaphylatic reaction to the drug and had very severe Angioedema. I realised that this was getting serious and stopped the infusion right away and informed my Oncologist. She rushed in and found that I was in distress. The reaction did not stop even after 50mg of IV Avil and 100 mg of Hydrocortisone steroid!!! I started having severe choking sensation and difficulty breathing. So another 100 mg was pushed in immediately. Generally this is the dose I give to people with very severe respiratory distress to gain time before doing Tracheostomy!!
Finally after more than an hour things slowly settled down. Even now after more than 8 hours I still feel the impact with severe tiredness, headache, abdominal irritation etc.,
Do not know whether this was due to the fact Oxaliplatin was changed from more standard drug to a generic one!!!
Anyways it has been decided that I will not get anymore of this. Hopefully this does not compromise on the treatment and hope I do not pay the price later in life.
Added to this my bag gave way and motion started leaking over my body!
Horrible experience. This disease is really getting into me and making me experience everything about life and forcing me to get used to new lows and disgusts!
Archive for category My Journey to Cancer
Almost Kissed Death Today!
Apr 16
Chemo has knocked me out
Apr 15
The first round of chemo post radiation has been very bad and I was almost completely knocked out.
It took me almost three weeks to get out of it and when I started to mobilise I am due for my chemo again tomorrow
Will update blog as and when I can
Hope I take this cycle much better than the last one.
Waiting and looking for the light at the end of tunnel, I know it is there but it seems as though I will never be able to reach it…
My Happiness Shortlived
Mar 9
I was happy upon completing my RT but the happiness was shortlived.
When I met my Medical Oncologist yesterday to plan my chemo I was in for a shock when she informed me that I will be needing another 6 more cycles!!! It was originally planned to give only two more cycles after RT but she wanted to be sure that I do not have a recurrence.
Also my RT side effects have gone bersek with me having very severe cystitis making me rush to the restroom every 10-15 minutes and the pain is extreme added to this I have also started to get frank blood in my stools to the extent that the entire basin is red! Pain in the therapy site has also started and I am hoping that it too does not get out of hand
Hoping when I will see the end of the tunnel…
It is with great relief that I completed my Radiation treatment today. This finishes one of the major treatment, still have few more cycles of chemo.
Thanks to your wishes and prayers I got off without major problems. I still remember the day I was anxious and worried about all the itis when RT was suggested, however they were there but not bad enough to make me bedridden.
At this point in time I wish to thank couple of people:
1) First and foremost the RT team comprising of Prof. Syed Nizar, Prof. BKM reddy, Dr.Sharma, Mr.Pandian and the Radiation technicians.
2) My family who made me very comfortable and who made me to gorge food and fluid in order to tide over the RT effects.
3) My patients, who love, affection, prayers and faith made me to come back to work and keep working thereby taking my mind off the treatment. In fact I had patientys who refused to be seen by anybody else and thereby forcing me to return to work.
4) Finally my colleagues Dr.Honey and Dr.Satish Babu who had recently shifted sides and has been helping me in surgery which at times even crossed midnight. Their support and presence made the difference in me taking patients to surgery for I know if I cannot do it due to health reasons they are always there to take over.
5) My dept. nurses (Jyothi and Lalitha) and my assistants Dr.Girish and Dr.Mahesh who used to make my work a lot easier.
Words just cannot ecxpress my gratitude to each and every one of them and one of you without which I believe my treatment would have been a real nightmare.
Thanks guys and thank you readers who have been sending in words of comfort and prayers. Continue it please…
Halfway through my treatment
Feb 21
I have so far completed half of my RT and also completed 4 cycles of chemo. So far I was able to withstand the treatment except for extreme body pain and tiredness.
I have still 11 doses of RT and hope that I will pull through. RT reactions have started now and there is pain in the site of RT along with urinary bladder irritation and irritation of the bowels.
The pain is very severe and not able to sleep properly because of the pain.
After RT got two more cycles of chemo and after that I need to keep my fingers crossed and hope that there is no recurrence from the positive margings of the cancer.
I start Radiotherapy
Feb 15
Since it was getting late to get a reply from Dr.Nisar, it was decided that I start my RT and do changes as needed at a later date.
This was because of the fact that I was off chemo for almost 3 weeks and we all felt that it is beyond the comfort zone. Dr.Reddy was very kind and so was Dr.Viqar, Director and I/C of RT. He even waived off the charges which was a huge saving.
On my first day Dr.Reddy was present to make sure that things were correct and gave lot of encouraging words. RT started and I was on table for 5 minutes.
I have so far completed 14 doses and have still 16 to go. My chemo which was started simultaneously was stopped since I had diarrhea.
I have been warned that the side effects of RT will start now and have been advised to take lots of fluids and be careful of my diet. I have also been asked not to wet the RT area until further orders.
In the meantime I was getting lot of encouragement from my friends and well wishers. At this point I need to say thanks to my patients who have been with me and have been sending in their wishes and prayers. More importantly they put their faith in me and continued with their consultations and also surgery. Words just cannot explain how much of positive energy this gives me. It means a lot folks and hope that I continue to live up to your expectations.
My colleagues were wondering how I am able to work in spite of all odds and how I was able to have such a wonderful practice. What they did not realise was that I always keep in touch with my patients and they are my second family.
I have been tolerating the effects of RT so far and hope that I will be able to get through the tough phase of RT too. Folks continue with your encouragement and kind words of support.
I was telling my wife about the support I was recieving and she was happy that I was able to continue my work and also that I was keeping good health. Sometimes they used to worry of evil eyes whenever someone says that I am keeping very good health in spite of odds and that I do not look as a cancer patient.
I was joking with my wife about the Valentines which we will never forget and which I will blog in My Musings. This Valentines day also will not be forgotten for the wonderful gift I gave her. My colostomy bag came off and she had to clean me and change the bag!
I am sure we will remember these times.
Well folks since I am still continuing with my treatment I am going to deviate from My Journey until I complete the treatment or until something pops up.
In the meantime I will blog on health issues of use to you all.
Thanks for all your support, wishes, visits and also for visiting my blogs. Kindly continue…
I Return to Bangalore
Feb 11
Preparations got underway for my return back to Bangalore. Discussions were made and it was decided by Dr.Raja that I should consult with Dr.Bapsy at Bangalore Apollo (She was the former Director of Kidwai).
Since I had a colostomy and that needs to be cleaned by my better halh as I am yet to start doing it myself we planned to travel in First Class A/C Coupe, to avoid inconvinience to fellow passengers.
Once I reached home I was in tears looking back at the trauma I had undergone in the last few months. My bed and restroom brought back memories about the pain which I suffered. I believe it was one of the worst phase of my life and I pray that not even my enemy should undergo this torture, yes folks it was so painful and traumatic.
My kids were excited on seeing their parents and I could make out the difference in attitude in my kids especially my son.
I took rest for a few days and then planned on my chemo. My CEO was very kind in giving a platinum suite for my treatments. I also met the Principal Mr.Nair and discussed about my sone, he was extremely helpful and gave encouraging words.
Now that my children were taken care of I asked my wife to join college so that she could give her exams and get her MD. It was also nice that her HOD was very kind and understanding. She even made a visi and made sure that I attend her Christmas party at home.
I then started the chemo with the weekly Erbitux and the daily Xeloda. My pain and suffering was getting reduced and so was my CEA level. I also started working, though not as aggressive as before due to limitations in my health. I was also happy to have my colleague who was always ready to give encouragement and also be my side during surgeries and covering my OPD on days I was not able to.
After about two months Dr.Nisar visited our hospital and was kind enough to meet up with me. He went through my records and said that the surgeons have done a good thing and that though the margins are positive they will be taken care of by chemo and radiation. I was extremely happ since I was worried about recurrence in view of the positive/close margins. My joy was short lived as he said I may have to live with my colostomy for life. I was shattered and had a detailed discussion with him.
Once again me and my wife cried at the prospect of this and started wondering when my woes will get over.
My PET/CT and RT planning…
Tags: BGSNPS, blogspot, Christmas party, Dr.Bapsy, Dr.Nisar, Dr.Umapathy, Dr.Usha Kini, encouraging words, fellow passengers, Kidwai, Medical Oncologist, memories, Principal, Radiation Oncologist, St.Johns Medical College, sufferingMy Trauma Continues
Feb 8
It was becoming increasingly difficult for me to mobilise with the two catheters. Also because of the suprapubic catheter I was having pain in my urethra more so when I walk. I even tried applying local anaesthetic jelly to my urethra but it was in vain. Finally I had a break when after 2 weeks of coming home my suprapubic catheter was removed. I still remember that day when I almost jumped with joy at the sight of it, for I need to manage only one from now on and there may not be much pain.
After faeces it was the turn of mucous to be secreted in my urinary catheter and I was hoping for a day when this too will be removed. I also had a scare soon when I started passing small amount of faeces in my normal area in spite of me having an end colostomy. All these were breaking my faith and self confidence and once again I cried and was thinking how long I can hold myself through this trauma.
I started moving out since now I can use a leg bag. I was extremely happy since now I can see the outside world after being indoors for almost 3 months! I still remember the day I visited Marina Beach and took a stroll on the sand. I also used to visit parks for my daily walk, both for fresh air and to see the outside world. My joy was short lived for my Foleys urinary catheter also started giving me pain, this was partly due to irritation of the bladder head since my bladder was partly removed.
Once again my mobility got restricted to my home. It was very depressing for I was enjoying the outside world and also the fresh air. My intake of outside food was also short-lived as they started giving me diarrhoea.
I then fixed an appointment with my Medical Oncologist. Blood tests were done and were found to be normal. Date was fixed for both Chemoport insertion and also for starting my Chemotherapy. Initially it was decided that Erbitux would be given for 6 doses in view of the cost. I was almost having a heart attack since my insurance has ran out and I need to pay from my pocket. I calculated how much I need to spend and it came to a whopping Rs.80,000/week (Xeloda Rs.175 per tablet, I need to take 6 per day, erbitus is 17,500 for 50 mg and I need 200 mg) not including the hospital charges, this will add to almost Rs.3 lakhs/month and I need to go in for 6 cycles. I was extremely upset as this means my savings would be completely gone and added to this I may have to take a loan either from my parents or from my in laws. I started crying again and was feeling very much depressed and upset at my financial position. I did not know how I will manage my family and kids since I will not be able to work for a few more weeks.
I took one cycle at Apollo and then in view of cost factor started taking chemo at VS hospitals in Chennai. The doctor was very kind to give me a private room and even waived off charges for the room. Also I started getting chemo reactions, my legs used to hurt and I was not able to take anything cold. I was also developing rashes in my body and face and it sometimes used to bleed. I started wearing socks, gloves etc., to help me tide over this. I also needed to apply moisturising cream that too in Chennai.
I took two cycles of chemo and the decided to return to Bangalore as things were going out of hand with regard to my children. My children’s grade were falling and their behaviour was changing for the worst.
The only silver lining during these traumatic days was the attitude of the management at Apollo.
My return to Bangalore…
Tags: blood test, end colostomy, erbitux, fistula, fresh air, leg bag, lidocaine, marina beach, medical oncology, rash, urethra, VS hospital, xelodaCoping with Cancer
Feb 4
Before I proceed with my trauma I decided to blog on this topic based on my personal experience…
A diagnosis of cancer can be devastating. It is nearly impossible to prepare for and difficult to adequately describe what one may be feeling in response. Remember you are not alone in your feelings and that many people have the same responses.
The first and foremost thing in coping with this disease is having reliable information and understanding about the disease and the various treatment options available, for gathering information about your cancer and its treatment will reduce uncertainty and assist you in understanding your situation.
Choosing a specialist, knowing which questions to ask and understanding how to live with and beyond cancer will help you learn to take control of your situation.
Feelings There is no typical way to feel when you are told that you have cancer. Everyone feels and responds differently. Some people experience several emotions at once, ranging from fear, sadness, or even anger, to motivation and determination
When I came to know my diagnosis I was shattered and felt terribly let down.
Seeking support Being self-supportive requires that you understand what is best for you. Your experience with cancer is a very personal journey, and it is helpful to try to understand your feelings.
Knowing when to ask for help is another important aspect of being a self-advocate. As the primary supporter of your cause, it is up to you to determine when and whom to ask for help. Consider allowing yourself to depend on others for awhile. Accept that people really do want to help you and that by accepting their help, you may both benefit.
You may want to consider sharing your diagnosis with others. Many people feel comfortable telling family and close friends about their diagnosis of cancer, but choosing to share this information and the people you want to share it with is a personal decision. You may find that an even stronger support system will be available to you once you begin to communicate with others.
In my case I always seek help from my colleagues in my profession and at home it is my better half who is always by my side. Believe me sharing and seeking support will do enormous good in your fight.
Understanding the treatment options Determining which particular treatment is right for you will depend on several factors, including your general physical health, the type of cancer you have and at what stage it was diagnosed. If your goal of therapy is to treat your cancer as aggressively as possible, your treatment may be different from that of someone whose disease is more advanced or severe or who cannot tolerate certain side effects of therapy.
Living beyond a cancer diagnosis
As your last treatment is nearing its end, you may expect that things will suddenly return to normal and you may go back to your life as you knew it before you were diagnosed with cancer. You may discover, as many cancer survivors do, that you need to establish a “new normal.” Your physical appearance may have changed as a result of your cancer or its treatment. Although these physical changes may be hard to accept at times, it is important for you to try to accept these changes as part of your “new normal”.
Of course you would like your daily routine to return to the way it was before your illness, but you may find that you are more likely to have a new set of expectations and priorities as a result of your cancer, its treatment, and redefining your life after diagnosis.
Communication with your significant other is extremely important during this time. Providing each other with love, support, and comfort is important at this time in your life. The people you have met along the way, friendships you may have developed, and connections with your family and friends are all a part of your future. Embrace the future…
Tags: anger, cancer, emotions, fear, gathering information, home, information, living beyond diagnosis, motivation, sadness, self-advocate, shattered, treatment, uncertainity, wife
Hi, I am Dr.Kumaresh a surgeon by occupation. I completed my basics in ENT and went to US for higher training in Head and Neck and Neurotology. I am currently a Senior Consultant at Apollo Hospitals which is the largest healthcare provider in Asia.
I am happily married and my wife is doing her pathology post graduation. I have two kids.
After I complete My Journey to Cancer, I will be providing information about diseases relating to ENT, Head and Neck and Neurotology.
You can also browse through my other blog and follow me in other social sites through links provided in My Blog.
To contact me kindly send in an email and I would be more than happy to communicate with you or clarify your doubts regarding my blog or questions relating to my speciality.
